Overwrought

Overwrought: 1. extremely or excessively excited or agitated 2. deeply agitated especially from emotion.

The key words here are "extremely", "excessively", and "deeply". It means getting all worked up and worried about something that is really inconsequential. It's a word with which I am intimately acquainted.

I'm pretty sure the first time I heard this word, I was in grade school. I think it probably came in the context of some school project. I honestly can't share the specific story, because it was such a common occurrence for me, that they really all blend together. But this is how it would go: I would have a project or homework assignment due. For some reason, I would find a reason why I hadn't done it well - it wasn't neat enough, or complete enough, or right enough, or I wasn't going to get it done on time, or any number of other things. I would work myself up into hysterics about how I was going to fail, because this project wasn't perfect. And then I would turn it in, and almost always it turned out that I actually had done it well, and I'd get a really high grade. It was never anywhere near as bad as I had made it out to be. At some point along the way, after I had brought home another good grade after another night of weeping, my mother asked me, "Can you say overwrought?"

Praise the Lord, He has grown me in this area in amazing ways. Yet, much to my chagrin, it is still an issue for me. It's like I often told the girls I discipled: we keep running into the same sin, and we think, "I thought I learned this already." The truth is, we DO learn, but there is MORE to learn on a DEEPER level. Same issue, deeper level. So, I've learned a ton about trusting the Lord, and not getting overwrought, yet I find myself staring it in the face once again.

I've been in San Diego for over six months now. I don't have a job. I had a really promising lead a couple of weeks ago - a great situation, doing what I wanted to do, and I had a great interview - but it didn't work out. So I'm unemployed, and I honestly don't know what I'm doing here in San Diego. I am overwhelmed with a lack of purpose...I have found myself "extremely", "excessively", "deeply" agitated. Beyond agitated; depressed. In a way similar to grade school, fear of failure plays a big role. Beyond fear of failure; a sense that I have already failed.

But here's the thing: God is not a God of despair; He is a God of Hope. I don't want to place my hope in getting a job, or finding my niche here, or making friends, or any other circumstance. My circumstances will constantly change, but Jesus is the same yesterday, today, and forever. I want to place my hope in Jesus. All of it. Not just hope for some areas of my life. I want to be able to say with the Psalmist, "You are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long." I just don't know how to get there.

So, friends, I'd love your thoughts. Do you have any favorite verses on hope? How do you put your hope in Jesus?